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A SKEPITCAL LOOK  AT  FAMOUS OCCULTISTS     
   by The Notorious Doctor Zoom Zoom


ANTON LAVEY (1931-1997)


 Founder of the First Church of Satan of San Francisco in 1966 and author of about 6 books on Satanism (it's believed two books written by Blanche Barton were actually ghost written by LaVey himself). LaVey founded the Church of Satan in 1966 to cash in on the occult craze of the 1960's. Previously, he had been an organ player in nightclubs and was a high school dropout. Since he had an uneventful life, he simply made one up for himself by a form of Satanic sorcery  known as “Lesser Black Magic” or to put it in laymen’s terms, “lying”. 

    LaVey claimed he had been a lion tamer for a circus, a police photographer with a degree in criminology, an oboist for the San Francisco Ballet Orchestra (which doesn’t even exist!), had affairs with Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe, had played the part of the Devil in the movie Rosemary’s Baby, and was a millionaire...none of which were true. He got away with the lies for many years, until Rolling Stone magazine did an expose on him in 1992. After his death, his family made even more embarrassing facts public. Nevertheless, the lies continue to be repeated by friend and foe alike.


     LaVey's philosophy is one of hedonism and "free love" (hardly news for the 60's), and featured rituals with his nude wife and bare breasted female followers, which shows why males would want to join...even at the cost of $20 yearly dues/$5 per meeting back then. LaVey claimed Satan represented a "dark force in nature" that gave mastery over the fleshly life in his "Satanic Bible", and even established a modern day Satanic Church. His rituals told readers they could obtain the object of their sexual desires, wealth through Satan's compassion (!), and revenge on their enemies through hexes. Satanists who try the spells in th book, however, usually soon realize they don’t actually work, but continue to call themselves Satanists anyway.


     LaVey was approached by Avon books to wrote a book on witchcraft to cash in on the occult craze of the 1960's. He cobbled together The Satanic Bible from a forgotten right-wing political tract (where of the material from the Book of Satan section comes from), Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, and  Enochian occult material of John Dee. In the book, he presents a straw man, a one dimensional view of Christianity, and tears it down, making Satanism appear to be the only choice if a person wants to be happy in life. To non-critical thinkers, (young people in particular) Satanism seems like a religion that will give them anything they want in life, while Christianity or another “white light” religion will only bring them misery.


     LaVey’s promise of power and strength are key selling points to his “philosophy”. He argues violence is a natural human trait, and therefore it’s only human to be violent. But studies by many anthropologists have shown violent behavior is a learned trait, not a natural one. The Satanic Bible, like any system of the occult, promises an easy path to undeserved power. 

    It doesn’t take too long to realize the spells in The Satanic Bible don’t actually work, therefore Satanists will tell you about what a great “philosophy” it is. If you follow LaVey’s “philosophy”, you probably wind up in jail. LaVey himself had several run-ins with the law. The fact that people who seek out Satanism crave strength and power is a warning flag for problems in their own lives. Satanism simply causes them to ignore their underlying problems and not seek help for them. As a "philosophy", Satanism could be boiled down to hedonism, which was hardly a new idea in the 1960's. Oddly enough, most Satanists don't fit the bill as swingers.

     LaVey claimed he was looking for” men who could stand on their own two feet”, but in reality, Satanism is just a personality cult centered around LaVey. LaVey spun a yarn about himself, making his mundane life as a bar musician into an Indiana Jones like tale. Satanists who feel they have dull, uneventful lives live vicariously through LaVey.

     LaVey claimed Satanists were “the Alien elite”. But according to Psychiatrist Michael Moriarity, teenage Satanists (and presumably the older ones) are people who almost always fall into one of four categories, The Psudeo-intellectual, the psychotic, the angry misfit, and the impulsive suicidal type. Successful people don’t need Satanism, nor does it attract successful people. You’re much more likely to find the bookish or angry at the world types (if not both) calling themselves Satanists, than you ever will a CEO or a Senator.

      LaVey claimed that nuts were given "the bum's rush" when trying to join the Church of Satan, but clearly the term “nut” was in the eye of the beholder. LaVey has admitted to holding a "Cannibal feast" of a human leg in at least 3 books. The Satanic Bible & The Satanic Rituals certainly describe many things most normal people would consider pychotic, such as:

>Nude girl is used as an altar (found in both The Satanic Bible, & The Satanic Rituals)

>A human skull is used in Die Elektrischen Vorspiele ritual (Satanic Rituals, p. 109)

>Human leg bone or arm bone is used in Homage to Tchort ritual (p.137) 

>Woman dressed as nun urinates before group into a bedpan in the Black Mass ritual (p.43) 

>Urine is then sprinkled like holy water (p.44)

>Man climbs into coffin with nude woman (or nude man if he is gay) in Le Epais ritual (p.59).

      LaVey never really seemed to know what Satanism was himself. Some of his writings seemed atheistic and disbelieving in any mysticism, but at other times he called Satan "the dark side of nature", gave instructions on how to have successful spells, and often refers to Satan as a personification. One thing is for certain, The Satanic Bible gives specific instructions on timing, tools to be used, specific rituals for sex spells, revenge spells, etc (in The Book of Belial section of The Satanic Bible)... and it seemed he expected results.

     LaVey had some worldly success for a brief time, and even managed to employ a chauffeur for a year or two. But like all success gained by occultists, it was fleeting. In 1975 the Church of Satan split up, with many core members leaving to join the Temple of Set or other short lived groups.

     The house he lived in was actually given to him by his parents. Family and friends revealed LaVey forced female followers into prostitution as part of his bogus "Satanic sex therapy", took all their earnings and beat them when they didn't bring in enough money. In other words, he was just a common pimp!  In 1984 LaVey was arrested after he strangled his common law Wife Diane (nee Hegarty) into unconsciousness. Daughter Karla LaVey pulled her poor stepmother outside to save her life .

    Diane would later leave him and sue LaVey for half his property, claiming he had physically abused her all throughout their 26 yearrelationship. LaVey also had other incidents with the law. Daughter Zeena claims LaVey was the passive witness to the molestation of his own grandson, Stanton, in 1986 by one of LaVey's friends who was later convicted of sex crimes with minors, although LaVey was not charged with any wrong doing. Zeena herself was impregnated at age 14 by a Church of Satan member purported to be in his 30's.

    LaVey's was arrested 1979 due to his lion's (named Togare) unruly behavior and was ordered by a court to donate it to the San Francisco Zoo. The animal had been mistreated by LaVey (he used an electric cattle prod on him) and Togare had to receive special treatment the remainder of his life. LaVey had been given the animal by a Church of Satan member, believing LaVey’s lie about being a circus lion tamer.

    Defector P.E.I. Bonewitz claimed LaVey blackmailed some of the members of Church of Satan to supplement his income. Though never charged formally, LaVey was said to have pimped out female followers and beat them when they didn't bring back enough money as part of his "Satanic sex therapy" scam. He also claimed in the 1960's he presided over a "cannibal feast" of a human leg procured from a hospital, which would have certainly landed the diners in jail had they got caught. Many of the members of the Church of Satan in the 1960's were members of Law Enforcement, which is presumed by many why LaVey avoided legal entanglements most of the time.

     LaVey was on the right side of the law in one incident, when in 1979 he reported to the F.B.I. that someone had tried to  contract the Church of Satan to make a contract killing on a U.S. Senator. During the interview with the Feds, LaVey told them he had become "disillusioned with Satanism" at the time, but apparently went back into his rut later on. A 50 year old high school dropout with no marketable skills is hard to employ, and no one was about to take a former leader of a Satanic cult seriously. LaVey began selling membership cards to the Church of Satan out of a Post office box for $100. The actual Church of Satan no longer actually existed at that point, accept on paper and one or two cell groups here and there.

     Despite LaVey's claims that Satanists don't believe in charity of any kind, LaVey and his family had to live on handouts from friends and relatives, and public assistance during the 80's. He finally filed for bankruptcy in 1992, and was forced to sell his house to a real estate developer who allowed him to stay there until he died. With the drastic lifestyle change of going from a purported $50,000 a year or so income (which was probably less, considering LaVey’s track record for telling the truth) in the late 60's, to living on handouts and public assistance.

    LaVey , like Pee Wee Herman, later claimed “I meant to do that”, stating he was eschewing materialism for asceticism...a hypocritical 180 degree turnaround from the hedonistic philosophy presented in The Satanic Bible! With all his supposed knowledge of Satanic magic and worldly philosophy, LaVey only succeeded in being poor and in trouble with the law from time to time.

     LaVey died in poverty from pulmonary edema in 1997. A follower (allegedly his daughter Karla) scratched Oct. 29th out on his death certificate and wrote Oct. 31st as the day he died in a pathetic attempt to make it appear he died on Hallowe’en! Even this failed!

    Since Satanic magic obviously doesn’t work, his followers, desperate to save face, began claiming LaVey never really meant the spells to actually work, but clearly that isn’t the case. The Satanic Bible and The Devil’s Notebook gave specific rules to follow for success, as well as  the timing of rituals, imagery, candles to use, clothing, appropriate Enochain Key, etc. LaVey was obviously writing to make the reader to think magic would work!

     If he couldn't make the spells from The Satanic Bible work, what chance does anyone else have? Do you want to cast spells for money and wind up on foodstamps like LaVey? Do you want to be a pimp living in your parent's house? If so, keep practicing the occult and maybe you to will wind up like poor ol' Anton!

 Anton LaVey, wife beating pimp, cannibal, fraud, and failure.

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