Look At Some Pants Soiling Insane Conspiracy Theories And Urban Legends
WARNING: TIN FOIL HAT AREA AHEAD!
Some people believe in remarkably stupid things. Here is a quick look
at some of the nuttiest conspiracy theories and urban legends
around...and this is only a very small sample! Since there's so many,
we'll just dive right in. Enjoy.
>JFK was killed by a cabal of far Right leaning homosexuals,
Lyndon Johnson, and Richard Nixon. (Oliver Stone)
>JFK was killed by the Mafia, and so was RFK (Joseph
>JFK was killed by Fidel Castro.
>JFK was a Wiccan and was killed by as part of an
ancient Wiccan/Pagan human sacrifice rite that slays the
king. (A few Wiccans in the 1970's believed this, later repeated by
> JFK was the Messiah and
is actually a cult called The Church of JFK that believes
>The Zapruder film is entirely fake...even though it supposedly
contradicts the findings of the Warren Commission. (Jim Fetzer)
>JFK was killed by the industrial-military complex because he
wanted to end the Vietnam war [even though it actually escalated under
JFK faked his own death and John Todd was the personal warlock for the
Kennedy clan. (Lunatic, rapist, and "ex-Illuminati Grand Druid" John
>The most complicated theory is one
in which the driver shot
JFK. (by the late William Cooper), and apparently nobody noticed. He
must have been one Hell of a marksman. The theory involves
the Illuminati, UFO's, and the coming Ice Age, among other things. JFK
was killed on orders of the Illuminati because he was about to reveal
aliens were taking over the Earth.
>The Beatles were designed and sent
to the U.S. by the British Psychological Warfare Division, to undermine
the morals of American teenagers. (Lyndon LaRouche)
>Paul McCartney was killed in the 1960's in a car accident.
The remaining Beatles covered up his death, hired a
look-a-like/sound-a-like to take his place, and then for some damned
reason peppered their songs and album covers with clues that any hippy
high on drugs could find (urban legend).
>The Beatles used a magical device called "The Glass Onion" to
try to resurrect Paul McCartney from the dead, but it failed. It was
the inspiration for the songGlass
legend). [And of course, HES NOT DEAD!]
>John Lennon didn't die in the assassination attempt on his life
by Mark David Chapman, but was left severely brain damaged, so Yoko Ono
quietly put him in a nursing home to spare him public humiliation, and
faked his death. (National Examiner).
>Horror novel machine Stephen King actually killed John Lennon.
>Christ's Crucifixion was staged. He
drugged himself, and was later resuscitated by the disciples. He
practiced this trickfirst
on Lazarus to make sure it would work. (Hugh Schonfield inThe
>Christ eloped with Mary Magdalene, and one or both of them fled
to France to raise their family. Their descendent's became the Royal
families of Europe. (Baigent/Leigh/LincolnHoly
Blood, Holy Grailand
Dan Brown inThe
>Christ and his disciples were a magic-mushroom cult. (John AllegroinThe
Sacred Mushroom and The Cross)
>Christ was a Wiccan High Priest, the 12 discipleswere
his coven, and Mary Madelene was his High Priestess (King Jesus).
>Jesus Christ was really a vampire. (Blake Ford Hall)
>Jesus did not die onthe
Cross, because his son, Judas, took his place. He retired to Cumran.
One day he was shocked to hear Paul of Tarsus telling a greatly
exaggerated and distorted tale of his life. (AMORC)
>74 billion years ago the super evil intergalactic overlord Xenu
used a film to brainwash our souls ("Thetans") into believing Jesus
cross. Xenu invented all the world's religions.
(Scientology OT III teachings)
>Jesus and The12
all homosexuals (Uban Legend repeated by gay Episocpal Bishop V. Gene
>The lance that pierced Christ's side was also the same spear
that Saul hurled at David. Whoever owned the spear could rule the
world. Hitler supposedly was obsessed by the spear, as was Gen. Patton.
(The Spear of Destiny) [Even though Austria has had the spear for the
last 60 some odd years, they don't rule the world.]
>HIV/AIDS was created in a lab by the
CIA in the 1980's to kill off drug addicts, hispanics, blacks, and
gays. [William Cooper, and also the KGB. You could make a conspiracy
theory out of that alone!]
>HIV does not actually cause AIDS. [Even though it does]
>HIV was actually created with a computer...which I guess makes
never landed on the moon. It's not even possible! The moon landing was
faked on a Hollywood soundsatge.
>There is an alien base on the moon the government won't reveal.
>The US Governmenthas a
secret moon base which people see in telescopes.
>NASA is completely aware of aliens but covers up there
existence...even though they'd get all the funding they'd ever need if
they would reveal it. UFOs crashed in 1949 at Roswell New Mexico. [To
be fair, the government brought that one on itself. A high altitude spy
balloon crashed at Roswell, and a cheese stick Luetinent stupidly put
out a cover story that it was a UFO without thinking it through].
>The doomed Franklin Expedition was sent to the Arctic not only
to find the Northwest Passage, but to secretly investigate UFO
sightings that had been reported since the 1700s. The men were
captured, experimented upon, and eaten by giant aliens. (Jeffrey Blair
>UFO aliens are actually Demons.(The Day The Dollar
Died) In order to become material beings instead of spirits,
the Demons lost their magic powers and now have to fly in
spaceships.(Later addition by Bill Shnoebellen, who claims he is an
ex-Mormon, ex-Wiccan, ex-Satanist, ex-Rosicrucian, ex-Vampire, ex-Roman
Catholic Bishop, ex-Illuminati member, ex-O.T.O. member, ex-97th degree
Mason, who experimented with "Gay Nazi Sex Magic" and says werewolves
World War II, Hitler, and The Nazis
was staged. It never really happened. The Illuminati employed elaborate
special effects, stage magic, and phony journalism to scare the world
into pacifism. (Donald Holmes) I guess my dad and thousands of other
Americans just imagined going to Europe and getting shot at by Nazis,
>Hitler was still alive in Montana in 1997, and Josef Mengele is
keeping himself alive and youthful with a regimen of hormones and
>Hitler went to Cuba via vintage German U-Boat in the 1980s and
proposed taking over the world togetherwith
Castro. (National Examiner).
>The Holocaust never happened (according to Neo-Nazis) despite
thousands of eye-witnesses, concentration camp survivors, allied
soldiers who liberated the camps, photographs,
movies, and written documentationmade by the Nazis themselves, forensic evidence, and
millions of people who went missing.
>The Nazis built UFOs. Hitler and the Nazis escaped in one and
built a secret base at the South Pole.
>Adolph Hitler was really a Jew. In some versions of the story,
he is the illegitimate son of Baron Rothschild. Hitler's mother was
Rothchild's house keeper, and they had an affair. (Actually, Hitler's
mother never worked for the Rothchilds). The Holocaust was just a way
for the Jews to weed out the unfit, in this theory.
>Hitler and some associates escaped to the Arctic in a
submarine, to live with super-advanced aliens who reside within the
hollow earth. (This story originated with Edward Bulwer-Lytton's novel
The Coming Race, was treated as fact by the pre-Nazi Vril Society, was
bolstered by the forged "secret diary" of Admiral Byrd, and was adopted
by the likes of Ernst Zundel)
>Josef Mengele was the real Zodiac Killer, the Boston
Strangler(s), and even the anthrax lettermailer
actually died in 1979 in South America](http://www.thebushconnection.com/)
>Aleister Crowley was a British Secret agent during WWII. His
handler was Ian Flemming [actually Crowley really did write to the
British government offering his services as a spy. They basically told
Crolwey to get lost. He was never a spy].
The Bush Family
H.W. Bush was really George Scherff Sr., a Nazi sent to destroy America
as a teenager and adopted by Prescott Bush (Scherff was also an
assistant to Nikola Tesla, and stole all Tesla's inventions after he
was murdered by Otto Skorzeny and Reinhard Gehlen).
>George Bush was a CIA agent who participated in the JFK
>John Hinkley Jr. was a life long friend of the Bushes, and was
secretly sent by them to try to assassinate President Ronald Reagan.
>The children's book Curious George was inspired by a young
George Bush Sr. That's probably why Alan J. Shalleck, creator of
Curious George, was murdered by two men he met through a gay sex
network one day before the movie premiered. This information comes from
a man named Eric Berman, who claims he heard it straight from his
girlfriend's dad, Otto Skorzeny, in Florida during the late 1990s.
[Skorzeny actually died in Madrid, Spain in 1975].
>Jeb Bush rigged the 2000 election with the "Butterfly Ballots"
so his brother Gorge H.W.Bush Jr. could win [believed by everybody who
hates Bush]...even though the ballot was designed during the
adminstration of Florida Gov. Lawton Childs, a Democrat, and most of
the Supervisors of Elections in Florida counties were appointed by
>George Bush was behind 9-11. The plane everyone saw crash into
the Pentagon was really a missle.
>No, Dick Cheney was really behind 9-11. Bush was just a dupe.
The planes crashing into the buildings seen by thousands of
people didn't really bring the structures down, it was blown up with
Rock and Roll
and Roll was created by Blacks using Voodoo rythyms to brainwash white
teenagers. It's all part of their goal of race mixing (KKK in the
1950's. This idea was later recycled into a less racist version by
"Christian" comic book publisher and conspiracy monger Jack Chick).
>Rock records have "subliminal" messages that can only be heard
when you play them backwards (even though subliminal messages don't
work that way.).
Elizabeth I was really a man. The real Elizabeth died as a child.
>The British Royal Family had a horribly deformed male relative
they hid from the world in a Glamis Castle in Scotland, known as "The
Mosnter of Glamis". He was said to have lived to be well over 100; from
the late 1700's into the early 20th century. The late Queen Mum
(Elizabeth I) almost discovered him as a child. (FATE Magazine). When
he died his rooms were bricked in. In some versions of the story, a
vampire is born every century into the family and bricked in a room in
the castle. Still other versions of the story have the monster living
by a nearby Loch.
>Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence, faked his death to move to
Austria and became Adolph Hitler.
>No, Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence (and/or Freemasons acting on
his behalf) was Jack the Ripper.
>If you combine the two above theories (i.e.,Prince
Eddy murdered women as Jack The Ripper, faked his death, resurfaced as Adolph
Hitler) then Jack the Ripper was Adolph Hitler!
>The Royal Families of Europe all belong to a Satanic Pedophile
cult that the lateTop of
Jimmy Sayville and all the world's leaders also supposedly belonged to.
For sport they hunt down nude teenagers in a "Most Dangerous Game" type
deal, rape them, kill them, and then cut off their genitals and keep
them as souvineris (Daniel Townsey).
>The Royal Family is directly descended from the Biblicial King
David of Israel, and Celts are really Israelites, thus the British
Commonwealth and the USA (for some reason) fulfill all the Biblical
prophecies about Israel. The Royals supposedly know all this, but keep
quiet about it (Armstrong cults, Christian Identity groups, British
>Queen Elizabeth had former Princess of Wales Diana assassinated
to prevent her from giving birth to a Muslim rival
...Jodi Fahid's baby...to the throne (British tabloids,
>The 1939 War of the Worlds radio broadcoast was a psychological
warfare study funded by C.D. Jackson on behalf of the Rockefeller
Foundation, designed to find out how Americans would react to an enemy
in a trailer for his mockumentary F is for Fake, Orson Welles did say
the WoW broadcast had "secret sponsors".
Anti-Semitic Conspiracy Theories about The
>Jews drink the blood and eat the
flesh of Gentile children during Passover (from the Middle Ages). This
is known as the "Blood Libel" myth. Some Catholicsstillrevere
the relics of Medieval child saints supposedly slaughtered and devoured
by Jews. William of Norwich, Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln, Simon of
Trent became objects of local cults and veneration, and in some cases
were added to the General Roman Calendar, even though lacking official
canonization in the Roman Catholic Church. Gavriil Belostoksky, was
canonized by the Russian Orthodox Church. [ Now, it kind of
makes you re-think why the new Pope might really support the
Palestininans, now doesn't it?]
> Modern day Jews secretly practice human sacrifice (Harrel
>Jesuits sank the Titanic to kill some of the world's richest,
most powerful Jews.(Vatican Assassin Archive, et al)
>Jews run all the banks of the world (believed by all
anti-Semites)...well, except for the banks in every Muslim country,
North Korea, Mongolia, China, The Bank of America (CEO Brian Moynihan,
an Irish-American Roman Catholic), etc., but why let the truth get in
>The Jews were really behind 9-11 to make Muslims look bad. The
Jews that worked at the WTC were called the day before and warned not
to go to work.
>Israel trained sharks to attack Muslims bathing in the Red Sea
>The Jews created Christianity to control the world (Adolph
Hitler, modern day Odinists). Apparently the Jews should have told
Christians to not instigate Pograms and The Inquisition, and so forth.
>The Rothchilds, Europe's only Jewish Nobility, have created
every war in Europe, including WW2. They secretly run everything. This
addition from lunatic John Todd: The Rothchild's are really Satanists.
There are hooks on the chimneys at the Rothschild estate in London
where witches hang their brooms when they fly in.
>The plans for Jews to take over the world in the 19th century
were leaked in a document calledThe
Protocols of The Learned Elders of Zion. [It was actually
written by the chief of the Russian Czar's secret police to discredit
his enemies. Even though debunked long ago as a hoax, the book is still
held as gospel for anti-Semites.]
New World Order Conspiracy
International Airport was built expressly to conceal a vast underground
complex, headquarters of the New World Order elite. Clues are hidden in
the airport's peace-themed mural [why do these people go to all the
trouble to create these super secret conspiracies and then leave
"clues" all over the place for some goober to find???].
are actually living in the 1700s. The early Middle Ages (614-911 A.D.)
never occurred. Everything that supposedly happened during those years
was either a misunderstanding, an event from a different era, or an
outright lie (Herbert Illig's phantom time hypothesis). Charlemagne,
for instance, is a fictional figure...and since I'm a descendant of
Charlemagne, I must be too, then. [YIKES! I'M NOT REAL! THE CONSPIRACY
NUTS/OCCULT CROWD FINALLY FIGURED OUT A WAY TO STOP ME! lol Just
kidding. I'm real. So were the Middle Ages]
>Shortly before he left office, Bill Clinton secretly signed
into law the National Economic Security and Reformation Act (NESARA).
This act would have completely restructured the U.S. government by -
among other things - forgiving all personal credit card debt and
mortgages, abolishing the IRS, restoring constitutional law, and
somehow ensuring world peace - but the Supreme Court placed a gag order
on it, and threatened death to any government official who breathed
word of its existence. NESARA activists around the world are agitating
to get the act announced and instituted.
>Aspartame, fluoride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines
are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as
part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite (John
>Jeffrey Dahmer was an actor hired by the Ambrosia Chocolate
company to pose as a cannibal killer so no one would object to the
factory being torn down and another one built with illegal tax breaks.
I guess Dahmer should have reveled the whole thing was a hoax before he
got sent to prison and killed by another inmate.
>The Sandy Hook School shooting was staged. It was all an
elaborate hoax by the NWO people to take our guns away. The grieving
families were just Hollywood actors. (From WellAware1, a website owned
by a lunatic that claims all politicians, government officials,
historic figures, celebrities, and other people featured in
media-covered events are actually imposters portrayed by actors! The
site maintains that Adolf Hitler and Walt Disney were both
"pseudo-persons" played by Kermit Roosevelt, son of U.S. president
Teddy Roosevelt. Even some low information humans who believe every
conspiracy theory have to preface this pants soiling insane garbae with
the disclaimer: "Um, this guy has some stuff on his website I don't
>In the 1970's, The CIA sent a pair of agents (who were husband
and wife) to discover which church was the only true
church...apparently the Cold War wasn't keeping them busy enough. It
turned out to be the true church was the Mormons! The government
allowed the couple to remain in the LDS church. (Urban legend
circulated throughout LDS circles in the 70's and 80's, and probably
Racist Things About White People by Militant
people were created in a lab by an evil Black scientist who lived on
the Moon millions of years ago. (Nation of Islam)
>Atlanta child murder theories: Victims were used for CDC
research into Interferon; KKK Klansmen posed as cops to wipe out young
black men (Dick Gregory);
scientists needed the black boys' foreskins killed in the Atlanta Child
Murders to produce a cure for cancer and/or a youth serum. (Dick
Gregory again. Jesus Hopscotching Christ, Dick Gregory, what the Hell
have you been smoking???)
>The US government blew up the levees in New Orleans with
dynamite to kill blacks. It wasn't Hurricane Katrina (Louis Farrakhan)
>Church's Fried Chicken was really owned by the KKK. Their
chicken is laced with chemicals to secretly sterilize Black men. In
some versions of the story,the
U.S. government laced the chicken with chemicals to sterilize Black men
>The U.S. Government plans to someday kill 22 million Blacks in
concentration camps in a plan called "The King Alfred Plan". The plans
can be read in the Library of Congress; executive orders 11490, 11921,
12148 (Elijah Grant). In earlier versions of the story, the
government had a secret concentration camp in the everglades where they
send Blacks (urban legend).
[A real secret society created in Bavaria
1776. It's goals were to take over the world and eliminate religion. It
failed, was discovered and banned by the Bavarian government, and it
hasn't existed since the 18th century. End of story. Nevertheless, the
legend lives on!]
>The Illuminati secretly runs everything and is trying to take
over the world [which seems pointless if it runs everything].
>The Illuminati is using Rock music to get teenagers into
witchcraft (John Todd scare of the 1970's. Todd was later convicted of
rape in the 1990's)
>The super rich Illuminati is using the Federal Reserve to
bankrupt the world. Then the Illuminati will be super duper rich,
because only their money will be worth anything![...for some reason]
>Several pop stars are alleged to be in the Illuminati, simply
because they mention it in their songs. Some conspiracy nuts simply
imagine "symbolism" in music videos to be "clues" to Illuminati
membership. Britney Spears'Work Bitchvideo
has "cube shaped images" which are "symbolism of Saturn worship" and
circle images which are linked to "goddess worship" (even though the
Illuminati were atheists, not goddess worshipers, but hey). And don't
forget triangles/pyramids are also supposedly associated with the
Illuminati. So basically any freaking shape is Illuminati, and anyone
with geometric shapes is an illuminati member! Katy Perry made a "kid
friendly Illuminati video" withDark Horse.
Niki Minaj, when not getting into bitch fights with Mariah Carry, is
also said to be a member. (Illuminatiwatcher.com)
Pictured Below: Not-so-kid-friendly video
loop from Katy Perry'sCalifornia
video. OK, so apparently the Illuminati's super secret evil plan to
take over the world this time will involve hot girls with huge boobs
who squirt whip cream all over...WAIT, WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING
ABOUT??? OF COURSE THAT WILL WORK! OK ILLUMINATI, I SURRENDER! YOU WIN!
ALL HAIL OUR NEW QUEEN! KNEEL
TREMBLING BEFORE HER!
>Jimmy Carter is the Anti-Christ. Armageddon will happen in
1979. (John Todd again. )
>Joseph Stalin and Adolph Hitler were both members of the
Illuminati...even though they tried to destroy each other in WWII.
Jesuits ordered the assassination of Abraham Lincoln (Charles
Chiniqy)...even though John Wilkes Booth was Episcopalian.
Jesuits started World War I, World War II, and The Vietnam war. (Jack
>The Roman Catholic Church created Islam. Right. Apparently it
needed something that would try to wipe the Catholic Church out
completely. The assassination attempt on Pope John Paul by a
Muslim was actually staged to gain sympathy from Muslims. (Chick
>Jehovah's Witnesses are really the creation of the Roman
Catholic Church and answer to the Jesuits. (Alberto Rivera)
>The Roman Catholic Church isn't really Christianity. It's
actually based on Ba'al/Sun Worship. (Hyslop) [Apparently he never
realized that would mean all Protestant Churches are Ba'al worshipers
>The Vatican has the names of every Protestant on file. There
are miles and miles of tunnels under the Vatican just for this
purpose. It's being done in preparedness for another
>The Holocaust was done as a new Inquisition, carried out by
secret sealed orders from the Pope to Adolph Hitler, Mussolini, and
>The biggest collection of pornography in the world is said to
be housed in the Vatican! (Anton LaVey)
And Finally...THIS WEBSITE
>Uncommon Sense Media is really a source of "Disinfo" to cover
up what the Illuminati is really doing (from an email from a conspiracy
>The owner is probably really "some kind of Freemason" and is
apparently lying about it (a guy on Yahoo Answers).
>This website is just a money making scam. It's all lies (From
Wiccans, Satanists, et al, who sent emails). [For running a "money
making scam", I really suck at it, since I probably lose a couple
hundred bucks a year on this.)
>The owner of this website helped Micheal Jackson fake his
death. The clues are: The website mentions Father Alberto Moreno and if
you look on the Thriller video, "Moreno" is on one of the tombstones.
(from an online conspiracy forum) That's it. That's all it takes to be
part of a conspiracy. lol
(c) Uncommon Sense
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