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   by The Notorious Doctor Zoom Zoom

JEANNE DIXON (1918-1998)

    Celebrated psychic, who was well known for her yearly list of predictions in tabloids like The Star and The National Enquirer. Some credit her with predicting the assassination of President Kennedy, but what she actually predicted in 1956 was that the unnamed president to be elected in 1960 would die or be killed in his second term. There was a belief in the "20 year presidential curse" by many people at the time, so Dixon was just going with the popular opinion. (It should be pointed out that President Zachary Taylor died outside of the 20 year cycle in 1850, and that Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush did not die in the 20 year curse. Fans of the curse theory simply leave these details out).

    Years after their deaths, it became known that Dixon had been an “adviser” to a reluctant President Richard Nixon. Nixon's secretary, Rose Mary Woods, was friends with Dixon, and arranged for Dixon to give the President advice using her super cool psychic powers. Privately, Nixon told friends he thought Dixon was nuts, and only listened to Dixon to humor his secretary because he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

    After the Olympic killings in Munich, 1972, Dixon suddenly began to get premonitions about terrorism and that Jews might be targets. It's too bad those premonitions couldn't have come before the terrorists killed people, but better late than never, I suppose. Dixon purportedly told Nixon that borscht belt comedian Allan King - - because he was Jewish and had once hosted a telethon for the DMC - -would either be a target for terror “or one of the backers behind the thing”. So he was either a terrorist or target of terror, take your pick. It's about like saying the people who died in the World Trade center were either victims or members of Al-Qaida. In reality of course, Alan King was neither terrorist nor target of terrorists. Besides, everyone knows Mel Brooks was the one to keep an eye on! 

    Well, it's a good thing Dixon warned Nixon about Watergate...oh wait, she missed that one. Hey, that's a pretty big one to miss! It's amazing how many mulligans she got over the course of her career, missing Watergate being one of them.
To Dixon's credit, Rob Rhiener swears that in the first day in his new house newly married to his long time girlfriend Penny Marshall, they turned on the TV, and the very first thing they heard was Jeane Dixon on a talk show predicting they would get divorced! In fact, Dixon's prediction also made the cover of the National Enquirer.

    A few years later, they in fact, did get divorced. Of course predicting a Hollywood marriage will end is about like predicting Lindsay Lohan will do something that will land her in front of a municipal court isn’t a matter of “if” but “when”. It's also not impossible that when Rhiener and Marshal heard their marriage would end, it may have stuck in their minds subconsciously and they both convinced themselves they were destined to get divorced, so that it eventually became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Even with predicting the bust up of Lavern and Meathead, there is still an endless chain of Dixon epic-failed predictions, including Tom Dewey getting elected as an “assistant president,” the fall of India's Nehru which never happened, Richard Nixon's return to office after his resignation that failed to materialize, and germ warfare in 1958 with China that never happened. She also predicted a monster comet striking the Earth, the election of a female U.S. president and the dissolution of the Roman Catholic Church...all to take place before 1990! She was a false prophetess, plain and simple. No one claiming to have psychic powers actually has them.


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