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I first heard about the Illuminati from a casette tape while I was 14 years old visiting some relatives in baltimore, MD in 1983. Unbeknownst to my family, I was secretly a solitary Wiccan. When I heard one of John Todd's lectures on tape, I was blown away! Far from being turned off by the story...I wanted to seek them out to join! Witches who had piles and piles of money and secretly ruled the world? Hey, sign me up for that!Booyeah!

    In fact, what a lot of Fundie Christians don't realize is, people like Mike Warneke, John Todd, et al, actually make the world of the occult sound glamorous and powerful with their fake testimonies! But I digress...

    As I grew older though, I realized there was no Illuminati (well, at least not anymore). This was confirmed one day when I found a copy of The todd Phenomenon in a used bookstore. The Illuminati has been a favorite subject of conspiracy writers from Texx Mars (who’s an Anti-Semite) to Jack Chick (who’s anti-Catholic) to David Icke (who's anti-Lizard). Exactly who is behind the Illuminati depends on the conspiracy nut who’s telling the tale. Anti-Semites say it's the Jews (the Rothschild's in particular, they’re always a favorite target of Jew haters), while others say the Roman Catholic Church, or the Freemasons (sometimes even including the American founding fathers!), or the Communists, or Wiccans, or Satanists, or The Trilateral Commission, or even the Mafia, or any combination of the aforementioned, among others.

    The Illuminati is sort of like extraterrestrial aliens that pilot U.F.Os...lots of people claim to have seen them and believe they exist, write detailed books about what they do, explain how they’ve shaped history, make claims about what their plans are for humanity...but no one can offer a single shred of evidence to prove they’re real. Oh, and speaking of U.F.O.s, British soccer player turned New Ager, David Icke, says the Illuminati are actually Reptilian Aliens! Help! Call Dr. Who! 

  "Sorry mate. Unless the Daleks or the Cybermen are behind the Illuminati, don't call me."

    Yes, Icke's theory is that the Illuminati are run by a race of subteeranean alien reptiles that live beneath the Earth's surface. That's actually similar to a 1970 storyline from Doctor Who, by the way (Doctor Who and The Silurians with Jon Pertwee). Obviously all these things are bigoted and crackpot ideas created by bigots and crackpots, and should be dismissed. So now you're probably saying, "But why do we keep hearing about the Illuminati then if it no longer exists?" And we'll get to that.

    Fake Anti-Christ Aleister Crowley claimed to be a member of the Illuminati, as did fake ex-Satanist Mike Warneke and fake ex-Wiccan John Todd. The AMORC claims it is the highest level of their bogus mail order occult school, and initiation into this level allegedly takes place out of the body on the astral plane (!). Obviously only the most self-deluded make it to that level. Some Rosicrucians felt ripped off enough to sell the monographs on Ebay, to used bookstores, and some even put all of the AMORC Monographs on bit torrent...even up to the so-called "Illuminati" level, so now we can all see for ourselves without spending hundreds of dollars and years to get there. (Click on picture for larger image). 

Click for larger image

    Pictured above is the actual cover of the final monograph the highest members of the AMORC's "Illuminati" recieve. If you're thinking it tells you the best way to sacrifice virgins to Molech or something, well, you'd be very disappointed. It basically consoles the reader (who has by now spent several years and probably a few thousand dollars) that while he may not feel all mystical, and all powerful and occulty and stuff, never fear, that's just normal! (In reality, it's normal because there's no such things as superntaural powers!). What they're really saying is "Thanks, sucker!".

    While occultists seem love the (actually now non-existant) Illuminati, the conspiracy nut crowd has a much less favorable view of the it, however. There is a mountain of myth surrounding this now extinct order, but we can determine the truth. 


    Once upon a time, there was indeed a REAL Illuminati! But, it had nothing to do with witches, "Zionism", or even alien reptiles, or anything like that. 

Bavarian Adam Weishaupt  (1748-1811) was the founder of the short lived and extremely over-rated Order of the Illuminati. Many occultists claim (falsely) to be in contact with the Illuminati, as you've just read.

Born of a Jewish family, Weishaupt was educated in a Jesuit school. When Pope Clement XIV supressed the Society of Jesus in 1773, Weishaupt became a professor of canon law...a position that was held exclusively by the Jesuits until then. This caused the Jesuits to despise Weishaupt, and there was animosity between the them from then on.

Weishaupt started the Illuminati in May of 1776. The Illuminati was actually more concerned with politics than the occult, and Weishaupt was actually an atheist.The structure of the society was an elaborate network of spies and counter-spies. Each isolated cell of initiates reported to a superior, the identity of whom they did not know. There were some German Masonic orders, such as The Order of Strict Observance, which had similar structures, so this may have partly been where Weishaupt got the idea. He also seems to have structured the Illuminati partly on the model of the Jesuits, even though he wasn't fond of them.

    Weishaupt was a low degree Mason, and he used Freemasonry to recruit other members. The Masonic-like rituals it used by the order were probably just a smokescreen for their subversive political activities. While the Illuminati was Masonic-like, and some Illuminati  members were Freemasons also, the Order of The Illuminati doesn’t appear to have been an actual branch of Freemasonry.

     The Illuminati sought to overthrow the government of Bavaria, and hoped it could eventually spread it’s revolution all over the world. Their overly ambitious goal was to end all kingdoms and all religions worldwide. But their activities were exposed in 1784, when an Illuminati courier was struck by lightning, and his secret papers came to light. Wieshaupt lost his position as a Professor and fled  Bavaria.  Weishaupt wrote a few pamphlets in exile, such as An Apology For The Illuminati,  (So what was that like, "Hey, sorry we tried to take over the world"?) but the order was kaput.  Weishaupt  and his family relied on charity from a nobleman for the rest of his life. 
By the end of the 18th century, the Order of The Illuminatti had ceased to exist. Period. End of story.

    At best, it's possible some of the ideals of the Illuminati limped on. The French revolution appears at first blush like the handywork of the Illuminati. They did get rid of the Monarchy, and they de-Christianized the country and replaced Christianity with The Cult of Reason. However, both "successes" were short lived. The King was replaced by Emperor Napoleon, and proved to be worse than  Louis the  XVIever was. Napoleon's Nephew, Napoleon III, even created the animosity between Germany and France that eventually lead to WW1. The price of the Cult of Reason was the lives and freedom of thousands of Christians. In 1793 it was challenged  by Robespierre with his Deistic "Cult of The Supreme Being". By 1795, some of the laws against Christians were eased, and by the early 1800s, the persecution of Christians had ceased, and the Church returned. 

    The Illuminati hasn't existed in over 200 years, and it was a total failure. There is no evidence of their existence after the 18th century, and certainly no evidence the American Founding Fathers or the Rothschilds ever belonged to it. The lluminati was exposed early on, and thus their operations ended. If there was an Illuminati today, it's the most unsuccessful secret society of all time, since a) everyone has heard of it and b) it’s over 200 years later since it was founded and it still hasn't taken over the world! 

Pictured above: Actual picture of the Illuminati in action!

    You may even come across this or that webpage claiming to be the website of the “Illuminati” created as a joke or by someone living in a dream world. They too, can be dismissed, and have no connection to Weishaupt’s short lived Illuminati other than wishful thinking. Even though the legend has gotten a lot of mileage, there is no “real” Illuminati around today. It’s the stuff of crackpots and hatemongers, just deal with it.  Adam Weishupt’s dream of world domination never materialized and he died a failure. 

     So now you're asking "OK, then why do I keep hearing so much about the Illuminati then if it died out 200 years ago?" That's a good question...and there's a simple reason: Old legends die hard! 

    Jesuit Catholic Priest named Augustin Barruel came along and wrote his own conspiracy theory tome titled  Memoirs Illustrating the History of Jacobinism in 1797. In it, Barruel claimed the Illuminati, Freemasons, and others conspired to create the French Revolution.  In 1798, John Robison, inspired by Barruel's book,  publised the ironically titled Proofs of A Conspiracy claing the Illuminati had infiltrated American Freemasonry. He wasn't a Freemason, and it's ironic the book only offers anecdotal evidence and actual proof. Nevertheless, it caused a few people in New England to be worried, and is still being read by conspiracy nuts today. 

    In 1798, anti-mason George Snyder wrote a letter to Washington claiming to be a minster, and asked him what he thought of Robison's book. Here you can read the edited version conspriacy nuts cite, and te complete letter. 

What Conspiracy Nuts claim George Washington Said
What Washington Actually Said
Mount Vernon, October 24, 1798.

Revd Sir: I have your favor of the 17th. instant before me; and my only motive to trouble you with the receipt of this letter, is to explain, and correct a mistake which I perceive the hurry in which I am obliged, often, to write letters, have led you into.

It was not my intention to doubt that, the Illuminati, and principles of Jacobinism had not spread in the United States. On the contrary, no one is more truly satisfied of this fact than I am.

That Individuals of them may have done it and actually had a seperation of the People from their Government in view, is too evident to be questioned.
Mount Vernon, October 24, 1798.

Revd Sir: I have your favor of the 17th. instant before me; and my only motive to trouble you with the receipt of this letter, is to explain, and correct a mistake which I perceive the hurry in which I am obliged, often, to write letters, have led you into.

It was not my intention to doubt that, the Doctrines of the Illuminati, and principles of Jacobinism had not spread in the United States. On the contrary, no one is more truly satisfied of this fact than I am.

The idea that I meant to convey, was, that I did not believe that the Lodges of Free Masons in this Country had, as Societies, endeavoured to propagate the diabolical tenets of the first, or pernicious principles of the latter (if they are susceptible of seperation). That Individuals of them may have done it, or that the founder, or instrument employed to found, the Democratic Societies in the United States, may have had these objects; and actually had a seperation of the People from their Government in view, is too evident to be questioned.

My occupations are such, that but little leisure is allowed me to read News Papers, or Books of any kind; the reading of letters, and preparing answers, absorb much of my time.

    So Washington actually  believed that the doctrines of the Illuminati...not the actual Illuminati itself...may have come to America, but that the governemment and the Masonic lodges were still untainted. Conspiracy nuts edit those details out to make it sound like Washington believed the Illuminati had already taken over the United States!

    Oh, and everyone knows Washington was a Mason. So to try to clear  Washington,  conspiracy nuts have started  saying,  "Um, well, he was only a 3rd degree  Mason", as if that changed anything. Their reasoning is, since Washington was "only" a Master Mason, he wasn't part of the supre secret Illuminati devil stuff. What they're ignoring is, originally Masonry only had the first 3 degrees, and both York and Scottish Rites share them. In the minds of many masons, the first 3 degrees were the only ones that actually mattered. 

    Then there's Thomas Jefferson's letter about the Illuminati. The conspiracy nuts, once again,  edit the letter to make it sound like Jefferson supported the Illuminati. In the collumn in the left is what the nuts peddle. What Jefferson actually said is on the collumn on the right. 


What conspiracy nuts say Jefferson wrote
What Jefferson actually wrote
“As Weishaupt lived under the tyranny of a despot and priests, he knew that caution was necessary even in spreading information, and the principles of pure morality. This has given an air of mystery to his views, was the foundation of his banishment…. 

If Weishaupt had written here, where no secrecy is necessary in our endeavors to render men wise and virtuous, he would not have thought of any secret machinery for that purpose.”

"As Wishaupt [sic.] lived under the tyranny of a despot & priests, he knew that caution was necessary even in spreading information, & the principles of pure morality. He proposed therefore to lead the Free masons to adopt this object & to make the objects of their institution the diffusion of science & virtue. He proposed to initiate new members into his body by gradations proportioned to his fears of the thunderbolts of tyranny."

"This has given an air of mystery to his views, was the foundation of his banishment, the subversion of the masonic order, & is the colour for the ravings against him of Robinson, Barruel & Morse, whose real fears are that the craft would be endangered by the spreading of information, reason, & natural morality among men"


    So clearly Jefferson was actually opposed to the Illuminati, and thought Masonry was actually in opposition to the Illuminati, rather than part of it! He seemed to think the Illuminati was trying to subvert Freemasonry. Gosh, you don't think conspiracy theorists could be just a bunch of fanatics who twist the truth and lie to support their insanse theories do you???

  Leo Taxil wrote a series of books claiming the Freemasons were really Devil worshipers working to eliminate Christianity. The claims in the books got more ridiculous, even claiming Freemason Albert Pike had a telephone in which he could call the Devil. Eve though Taxil publicly revealed his hoax, conspiracy nuts still cite his books to this day! 

    Then along came a nut known as Edith Starr Miller, a.k.a., Lady Queensboro. She wrote an anti-Semitic conspiracy book titled The Occult Theocrasy borrowing heavily on Taxil's spurious writings! She's the dingbat that invented the famous fake quote by Albert Pike about Masons worshiping Lucifer. She gives absolutley no references for her material...because she made it up. She spent most of her life in and out of insane asylums, where she finally died in one.

    Then we move on to the 1970's, and a new generation of lunatics and liars were ready to pick up where Queensboro and the rest left off. Have you ever known someone who told you a bunch of crazy crap about themselves you know couldn't possibly be true, but you never confront them about it mostly because they're amusing to listen to? If so, that will give you an idea about this next ex-Illuminati member, John Todd, a.k.a., Lance Collins. 

    John WayneTodd, (1950-2007) A.K.A., Lance, Collins, John Todd Collins, Christopher Kollyns was a fake ex-Wiccan who eventually became a real Wiccan, then an ex-Wiccan again, then a real Wiccan again. So at least he kept busy. Collins is the reason so many Fundementalists (and thus, everybody eles) is talking about the Illuminati. 

     The Illuminati legend was introduced to mainstream Christians when this mentally unstable man went on the Bible belt circuit with a bizarre story about having escaped from a life of drug abuse, Wicca, and the mythical Illuminati, and becoming a Christian. For several years he managed to fool people into believing his ridiculous story, until a few Christians did some research and realized he wasn't an ex-Illuminati member, he was just pants soiling insane. 

    Todd joined a Pentacostal church in Pheonix, AZ and almost immediately became a storefront preacher at the age of 18. He left to do a brief stint in the military, then returned to the US, resumed being a preacher, and appeared on a local Christian TV show in 1972, which gave him the soap box every crackpot needs. Before the invention of the Internet, it was hard for crackpots to get their message out. Todd/Collins claimed he was saved from Wicca, Satanism, Illuminati, and drug addiction after viewing The Cross And The Switchblade, and reading a Jack Chick Bible tract titled Bewitched.

    Todd/Collins went on from there and made a tour of churches in 1973, telling a story about the Illuminati and it’s secret plans for world domination...which for some reason are outlined in the novel Altas Shrugged by (atheist) Ayn Rand that anyone can buy. Like with many super duper secret whackjob conspiracy theories, for some reason the conspirators leave clues to be found out everywhere. 

    Todd's conspiracy fable included Wicca, The Church of Satan, The Manson Family, The Knights of Columbus, B’Nai Brith, The Process Church of the Final Judgment, the Teamster’s Union, the Communist party, shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis, the Rothschilds, and even President Jimmy Carter, whom he said was the Anti-Christ himself no less and would assume world control by 1980! Apparently Carter’s been keeping it a big secret that he runs the world, and builds houses for Habitat for Humanity as a cover (that sneaky bastard!). Armageddon was supposed to happen in 1979, they also apparently kept that quiet too, somehow. Dang, those Illuminati guys are good at keeping stuff quiet!   I guess I shouldn't be complaining they left all those clues in Atlas Shrugged lunatics can find, then. 

    There were other super duper evil bad guys in the Democratic Party besides Carter, it seems. On one tape, Todd recounts a human sacrifice he once attended while in the Illuminati that was presided over by none other than Senator George McGovern himself! In fact, McGovern's likeness was used for a Satanic High Priest performing a sacrifice in the Chick comic The Broken Cross because of Todd's claim. 

    The head of the Illuminati, according to Todd/Collins, were the Rothchild family, whom he claimed where the “gods of witchcraft”, and actual “sons and daughters of Lucifer in human form”. The  Rothchilds are the only Jewish noble family in Europe and have always been the target of anti-Semites and unfounded conspiracy stories.  There have been books published previously that claimed the Rothchild's headed the Illuminati which were read by Ku Klux Klan types.  John Todd didn't appear to be an anti-Semite or racist, however, but was simply parroting what he had read. 

    Todd claimed he was a life long witches, including one hanged at salem no less. His claim to be from a long line of Wiccans is impossible since Wicca was only invented circa 1954 in England and didn't make it to America until the 1960's.  Todd claimed his family was a famous family of witches named Collins. At the time, Dark Shadows was a popular daytime T.V. show on A.B.C. that featured a fictional family of witches named “Collins”, which is where he got the idea. They were indeed famous, since they were on T.V., but certainly not real in any sense, or even based on historic figures. 

    Nevertheless, Todd insisted the character Barnabas Collins - -a vampire- -was based on his grandfather, whom he calls “Francis Collins”. Um...OK.  Todd claimed his real name was Lance Collins, perhaps to cloud his real history, or it may have been part of his mental delusion, or both.   

    Todd claimed that when he achieved the “highest level of witchcraft”, Grand Druid, he was told it was all just a front for Satanism by Raymond Buckland himself (who of course never met Todd and is always saying Wicca isn't Satanism like every other Wiccan) , and was made a member of the all powerful Illuminati. He was placed in charge to oversee the “occult activity, drug sales, and politics” of 13 states...although he never mentioned which 13 states that was. That was one Hell of an accomplishment for a teenager considering he was claiming he was out of the Illuminati by 1972, when he was 22!  that means  everything that Todd claims happened to him - -being on all these councils, studying witchcraft and the occult, giving $500,000 bribes to government officials, being initiated into higher levels of the Illuminati, traveling all over the USA and the rest of the world, etc., all happened before he was 22! That is, if you ignore the fact he was actually a Pentacostal Christian storefront preacher by age 18, in which case that means he must have started in the Illuminati when he was a toddler, or something. 

    Todd/Collins claimed all mainline denominations of Christian churches had already been infiltrated by the Illuminati and that Armageddon was just around the corner (right, when isn't it?), which scared the living cream cheese out of the Fundamentalists who used to come to his lectures. Todd never officially produced and sold tapes himself, but churchgoers recorded, copied, and circulated cassette tapes of his lectures amongst themselves. After a while Christians all over the country where shuddering in fear to the dreaded non-existent Illuminati!

    Todd warned Christians that all Rock musicians were witches, and Rock music was being used by the Illuminati to brainwash Christians into becoming witches. He claims he knew Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young...which is no doubt news to them...and that he used to cast spells over the master tapes. So if you're ever listening to Suite Judy Blue Eyes, and you get the overwhelming urge to sacrifice chickens to Ba'al or something, just remember...John Todd warned you! 

    Apologists (and yes, even a nutcase like John Todd has apologists) cite his “predictions” as  proof that his impossible story is true. Some low information human once asked me, "Then how do you explain everything Lance Collins predicted came true if he was fake?" Um, that's easy... they didn't come true! Correct me if I'm wrong...but did Armegeddon happen in 1979? Did Jimmy Carter turn out to be the Anti-Christ? Did all the world's economies completely colapse by 1980? No? Are you sure? OK then. The supporters simply ignore these glaring failures. When Todd predictedabout things like the price of gas going up, coal miners strikes, etc., Todd simplystated  that he predicted such events sometimes years  after these events happened! It's easy to predict stuff after it happens! Ironically, that's a trick some occultists use! 

    Some very ugly things were starting to develop with Todd's ministry. He was trying to start a retreat so Christians could ride out the bad stuff that the Anti-Christ was going to throw at them.  He told Christians to start reading Guns and Ammo, and reading the survival articles. He requested Christians hearing his lectures donate practically anything you can think of, including sheet rock, wire, nails, material to make clothes, and of course, lots and lots of guns. 

We need guns...12 gauge pump shotguns or automatic shotguns, nothing else...The next thing we need are 357 Magnum revolvers...45 automatics are the best, that's what I personally carry...The next thing we need...are Colt AR15s, that's the civilian name for the M16 rifle. “

    It's a good thing Todd was too unfocused and disorganized to have carried out such a project, because no doubt it would have ended in a massacre like Jonestown or Waco.

    None too stable, Todd went into a two year period of “backsliding” as he later called it between 1974-1976. To Christians, the idea of “backsliding” means someone stops going to church, watches “R” rated movies, drinks beer (like I'm doing as i'm writing this), or the like. Todd did way  more than just “backsliding”, it was a case of leaving the Christian faith and joining the Frost’s Church of Wicca and establishing his own coven. That's one Hell of a backslide! The Frosts either never heard of Todd, or didn’t give a rat sass as long as he paid his membership dues. Todd began teaching classes on witchcraft at an occult bookstore he opened called “The Witches Cauldron” in Chicago. His “coven” consisted mostly of underage girls, who later claimed Todd had forced them to have sex with him, as part of his own new personal brand of perverted nutso-whackadoo Wicca. 

    He was arrested for statutory rape, but amazingly was bailed out by the eccentric comic Bible tract publisher and conspiracy monger fun boy Jack T. Chick...a man who’s own grasp of reality seems very questionable at times. Todd was sentenced to six months, but because he claimed he suffered from seizures while in jail, and with the aid of Jack Chick, Todd managed to get released after only serving two months. Chick still stands by Todd/Collins impossible story and continues to publish his fables (along with his likeness sometimes) in the comic books Spellbound, The Broken Cross, Angel of Light, and the tract, Dark Dungeons. Ironically enough, Chick later produced a cassette tape in the 1980's titled Closet Witches, warning Satanists were infiltrating and ruining Christian churches, yet ironically unable to see the damage Todd/Collins created!

    After that pesky “backsliding” incident with witchcraft, the occult bookstore, teenage girl raping and stuff, Todd/Collins resumed his Christian lecture circuit jut as though nothing had happened, and now included the famous Melodyland church and Christian Rock music as part of the Illuminati conspiracy.  Among some of the other strange claims made by Todd/Collins this time around was that the Charismatic churches were all Satanic (even though Todd was a Pentecostal, which is practically the same thing) Jerry Falwell, Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, Pat Robertson and other leading Christian pastors had been bought off with tens of millions of dollars by Satanists, Christian Rock music had been started by the Illuminati to get Christian teens to become Satanists, and probably most bizarre of all...that John Kennedy was still alive, and that he had been his personal warlock! 

    Claiming that all those Christian big wigs were really Satanists finally started to raise some Fundie eyebrows! The hoax was eventually exposed by two fundamentalist Christians in the book The Todd Phenomenon. According to The Todd Phenomenon, Todd/Collins  - - surprise, surprise - - was not a life long witch descended from a long line of Wiccans going back centuries as he claimed. 

    John Todd had served briefly in the army in Germany (but as a clerk/typist, not as a Green Beret nor in Vietnam as he had claimed) until army psychiatrists determined he was suffering from “emotional instability with pseudologica phantasticaa”, which means he was a  pathological liar who could not distinguish fantasy from reality. Army Psychiatrists further determined Todd had probably received brain damage from his beatings as a child from his abusive alcoholic father. Todd gave a clue to his troubled childhood by mentioning he had “a real mom and a foster mom”, yet no one ever seemed to question him about this (or anything else for that matter) during his lecture years.  The story about killing an Army officer and getting away with it was also fabricated. A 19 year old John Todd was discharged in a time when mentally unstable vets were routinely inserted into the general populace with absolutely no thought to the consequences.

    Even though Todd claimed he was ingesting large amounts of drugs while a member of the Illuminati, Todd’s involvement with Wicca and drug abuse did not actually begin until his Church lecture circuit touring! Even during his so-called conversion to Christianity before his “backsliding” incident, his wife and associates claim Todd combined Wicca and Christianity. Todd frequently made passes at the female church goers, some of whom he seduced, and also even got his teenage sister-in-law pregnant...which must have made for some awkward family get-togethers. 

    One has to wonder how he got away with these incredible stories as long as he did, considering how ridiculous some parts of it sounded, and how easy it would have been to check facts. For instance, Todd claimed in one lecture the Rothchilds were building a new house, which included hooks on the chimney, so that witches could hang the broomsticks up when they flew in! It doesn't. AND... WITCHES DON'T ACTUALLY EFFING FLY ON BROOMSTICKS!!! HELLOOO! Todd also claimed the Mormon and witchcraft accounts of creation were identical. Even if you don't know a lot about Mormonism, I think you'll realize Todd is wrong. 

“The Mormon doctrine, and witchcraft doctrine, are almost identical in how the world began. According to the witches, Lucifer chose his son and his daughter, which were married, to come to the world, and lead the rest of his little kids down here. Believe it or not they were supposed to have landed in a flying saucer. And they landed here, and man was just more or less assuming their shape from apes, and they intermarried with man, and that's how, well, the original people were the witches that arrived. Their children became the witches, and the ones they didn't marry became the mortals.”

    Now...there's nothing like that taught in Mormonism. But wait a minute... Witches are immortal? Witches are a separate race from human beings? That sounds like something from the ABC TV sitcom Bewitched! Well, to the mind of a delusional person, a storyline from a 60's sitcom can become a “doctrine”.  Expounding on his origins of witches further, Todd stated:

“If you remember the TV show Bewitched, you remember the doctrine of witches and mortals. Now that may seem a little crazy to you, but they firmly believe it. And that Adam, who had the ability to turn back into other lives again, like everybody else did, did not." (Wiccans don't believe in Adam, btw)

"A man walked up...he passed one tract out and gave it to me...the tract was calledBewitched. I read the tract and thought, 'Hmmm, this guy is pretty smart! He saysBewitched was put on by the witches. Well, I knew that. My foster mother was one of the producers! I practically grew up on the set.”  

So, in addition to Dark Shadows being about his grandfather, it seems the TV show Bewitched was also connected to his family??? Now what were the odds of that?  And of course, the records of IDMB show that neither Todd's mom nor his foster mom were ever connected to the show in any way, shape, or form, and you check it yourself. It seems obvious Todd got a lot his super secret information about witches from TV shows and being bat crap crazy. Well, obvious to everyone except to the Christians who were waiting for Jimmy Carter to force them all to get “666” tattooed on their heads, that is. 

And chances are this Satanic occult breakfast cereal is also based on one of his evil imaginary witch/vampire/Satanist thingee ancestors as well, because it's on TV too! I bet that free "Monster Bike Spinner" also doubles as a tool to sacrifice virgins to Molech, or something!

     Todd/Collins name and information still appears in several of Chick Publication's Christian (?) comics. 12 MP3s have been made from Todd’s cassette tapes that circulated among Christian churches in the 1970's and are available online today, with some conspiracy nuts swearing his impossible stories are somehow true. Like I said, old legends die hard. White supremacists such as the “Christian Identity” types are the biggest supporters of Todd’s story nowadays. Enough said.     

    There's also plenty of other innacuracies and questionable claims in Todd's story. On what is now known as "Tape 3b", Todd claims all politicians are the highest level of Scottish Rite masons, "The 35th Level" belonging to "The Warriors Block" . There's no such thing as "The Warriors Block" of Freemasonry. Scottish rite only goes up the 32 degree, with an honorary 33rd degree that only such evil people as Ernest Borgnine get for all the charitable work he did for veterans.

Pictured above: On the left, super duper evil 33rd degree Scottish Rite Mason and probably Illuminati member, Ernest Borgnine! On the right is Joe Flynn, who wasn't a Freemson, because he was Roman Catholic...but...oh Hell,  they're evil too, according to Jack Chick! We'll just say Joe Flynn was an Illuminati too. Sure, they may seem harmless in this picture, but I'm pretty sure they're actually arguing about the correct way to sacrifice virgins to honor Molech. They're evil! EVIL I TELLS YA! 

    Can't you just picture Borgnine plotting the over throw of the governments of the world and force everyone to worship Satan? No? Good for you, then you're not a moron.

    Christians began denouncing Todd and distancing themselves from him once he had been exposed as a fake with the publication of The Todd Phenomenon. But not everyone got the message that Todd was a nut-job...this was before 24 hour media and the internet. Tapes made of his lectures still circulated among Fundamentalist Christians well into the late 1980's...even after Carter failed to be the anti-Christ and Armageddon didn't happen in 1979. 

    Todd faded from the public eye by 1980 and reportedly began selling freeze dried food in Montana for the coming Armageddon that never happened. At some point in the 80's he made his way to South Carolina. In 1990 he was arrested and convicted for the rape of a University of South Carolina student and molesting two 12 year old girls at a Karate school where he worked as an instructor. He was referred to in the media as “the USC Rapist”. 

    And of course, Todd claimed he was innocent and that he was framed by the late octogenarian Senator Strom Thurmond and the Freemasons. Right, somehow they kept getting all these women and little girls to keep saying Todd rapes them.  Gadzooks, they're clever! Todd's sentence was up in 2004, but he was deemed too dangerous to be released back into society. John Todd remained in a maximum security facility for the treatment of high risk sex offenders until his death by natural causes in 2007.  

    There’s a false story circulating on the internet while Todd was still alive that Todd was freed in 1994, picked up by a helicopter, and then murdered when he couldn’t pay the Illuminati $10,000 to spare his life...remember this is an organization supposedly with trillions of dollars at their disposal, yet for some reason they shake a guy down who’s been in prison for 4 years for a measly 10 grand and then kill him when he can't produce it? Right, all that makes perfect sense. 

    I can see why conspiracy buffs would want to “kill off”, John Todd from the Illuminati legend, because Todd once again re-converted back to Wicca and renounced Christianity while in prison (if not even earlier while he was out raping women and selling freeze dried food). A Wiccan "prison chaplain" even paid him regular visits. Obviously all this didn't make him sound too stable...and obviously he wasn't.   

     But then again...maybe I'm really an Illuminati member, and all this was written just to trick you! MUHAHAHAHA! OK, it's not. Just kidding. But I am standing right behind you while you read this. Made you look! Wow! I can't believe you fell for that too! 

    John Todd's insane story inspired other people to fabricate their own wacky, impossible testimonies about leaving Satanism, including wannabe Mike Warneke. Todd and Warneke once met backstage at a church auditorium, and the result was a shouting match in which the two had to be physically separated to keep from clobbering each know, the way actual Born Again Christians do (that's sarcasm by the way). Todd accused Warneke of more or less stealing his act, and he was probably right. But Warneke got the last laugh by co-writing the introduction to The Todd Phenomenon. A few years later however, Waneke’s own stained glass house got stoned when he was also exposed as an even bigger fake himself by an article in Cornerstone Christian magazine in 1989. Ouch!

    Texxe Mars published a series of books on the Illuminati, but he was shunned by Fundementalist Christians after his writings turned anti-Semitic. End time Televangelist Jack Van Impe is one of the biggest promoters of the Illuminati myth. He doesn't buy into the anti-Semetic aspects of it, though. In fact he's even denounced Texe Mars on his show. 

    The myth of the Illuminati has made it into pop culture. The 90's syndicated cartoon Gargoyles featured a modern day Illuminati, but were protrayed as being good guys. Several hip hop artists have mentioned the Illuminati in their songs, instantly causing conspircy nuts to brand them as illuminati members. Right, Nicky Minaj is part of an international Satanic conspiracy when not being a judge on American Idol. GIVE ME A BREAK! 

    The modern myth of the all conspiracy theories...doesn't make a lick of sense. We're told the Illuminati secretly runs everything...yet wants to take over the world. If it already runs everything, then it already runs the world! Hitler was supposedly a member of the Illuminati, and so was Joseph Stalin...yet they fought each other for control of Europe during WW2.The Illuminati controlled the USA and the USSR...yet the two spent half a century in a cold war. 

    Now, if the Illuminati controlled the USSR, wouldn't it have been easier to not have also created Nazism and just alloed the Communist to take control of Europe? When you point out such glaring contradicitions to a believer, they'll just say "That's because they're trying to distract us from the big picture!"But what could be so huge that they needed World Wars I and II to distract us??? 

Blinky the Baphomet says,

"Damned if I know. But of course I'm just a goat head inside a star, so international conspiracies aren't my forte'" 

    Conspiracy theories always rely on allegations they can never prove. For instance, there's no evidence at all "Zodiac Productions" ever exsited, much less that it owned RCA records, as Todd claimed. There's also no record John Todd was ever a green beret (and why the Illuminati would risk their most powerful member getting killed in Vietnam, anyway?). But when confronted with that, conspiracy nuts will roll their eyes and say "Of course there's no record of it...they covered it up!"And thus the very lack of evidence becomes evidence! 

    For some reason the Illuminati has gone to all this trouble to become (unsuccessfuly)secret. Yet for some reason, they leave clues all over the place, it seems. Think about it...if you were going to all the trouble to create this super secret orginization, would you have put clues on something that changes hands by hundreds of millions of people each day?

Pictured above: The absolute worst hiding place for a super duper secret  conspiracy symbol, ever! 

    So just what is that weird eye thingee on the pyramid? Well, it's one half of the two sided seal of The United States of America, adopted by the founding fathers in 1782. It has nothing to do with the Illuminati, nor Freemasonry. It was actually created from standard references on heraldry like Cesare Ripa's "Iconologia or Moral Emblems," which you can find online at: 

    There is an actual metal seal in the Capitol building in Washington D.C. which used to emboss documents.  When a law is passed, it's gets imprinted with the seal to make it official, just like when you get something notarized by a Notary Public, or a corporation (such as a Church) affixes a corporate seal to a document. 


(Latin) The official motto of the United States of America which can be found on The Great Seal of The United States, created in 1782 by founding father Charles Thomson. The first part of the phrase," Annuit Copetis",  means “Our undertakings have been approved”.  This refers to the Founding Father's belief that God Himself had approved of the founding of  The United States America. That's right...the founding fathers worsiped Jehovha instead of Lucifer! Imagine that!
    The next part, "Novus Ordro Seclorum", means “The new order of the ages”. Despite what a lot of conspiracy nuts will tell you, it simply does not mean “New world order”, nor does the word “seclorum” mean "world" or even “secular”.  If you don't believe me, all you have to do is get a Latin dictionary to debunk this.  

    This too, has nothing to do with the Illuminati. The phrase is taken from a line from a poem by the Roman poet, Virgil,  “The great order of the ages is born afresh”.  It was intended to signify the start of the new American era. Virgil's poems were seen by Medieval Christians as prophecies for the coming of Christ, and the Founding Fathers may have known of this or even believed this as well. The phrase certainly has nothing to do with Satanism or the Illuminati. 

    Conspiracy nuts really strain to make everything on the seal as proof of a connection to the Illuminati. Some people point out the number "13" is used many times on the seal. Gee, you don't suppose that could have anything to do with the fact that there were 13 colonies during the time of the American revolution do you??? I've even read statements online where conspiract nuts point out the 1776 is in Roman numerals. Right, because everyone knows Roman numerals are Satanic. You'd never find Roman numerals in a Bible, would you? (Click to enlarge)

Page from 1611 King James Bible with Roman Numerals

Wait a minute! That's a 1611 King James Bible! D'oh! The evil Illuminati must have built a time machine and went back to 1611 so they could use their evil Roman numerals in the Bible! 

    Seriously though, there's nothing evil/Satanic/having anything to do with the Illuminati about the Great Seal of The United States. Period. End of story. Get an effing life if you think otherwise.  Now if those evil dollar bills still frighten you, send them all to me! In fact the ones with Ben Franklin are the most evil, so just send me those. In fact, you can send them eletronically so you don't even have to touch the evil things! 

    And finally, if you don't believe in their coo coo tinfoil hat horseraddish, they'll just shake their heads and say "I guess they got to you, huh?" Right, me and Nicki Minaj. lol  Well, no one got to me. I just like the truth. It may have taken me a while to arrive at it, but here I am. The bottom line is that no one can persuade you to stop believing in the Illuminati bullcrap as long as you really  want to believe in it. Belief in something as impossible as the Illuminati conspiracy is obviously ridiculous.

Well, unless you were a naieve 14 y.o. Wiccan. So there you go. 



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